Monday, March 10, 2008

in process

It's monday the 10th of March. Wed. will be 3 weeks since my surgery. The surgeon said that by the 3rd week I would notice a dramatic drop in the level of pain. I give it to his great skill and the grace of God that the pain has subsided significantly. The leg is still very weak (go figure) and now the physical therapy will be kicking in to strengthen the leg and tendon. The atrophy of the muscles in my left leg is pitiful. Looks like a peg leg but I look forward to being able to build my strength back up. The normal proticol is to be able to walk full with full weight bearing 8 weeks after surgery. Then I will be in the Dr's words jogging at 3 months. (Paul Watson said he should tear his Achilles and get the same surgery because he has never jogged before).

So aside from some stomach issues from the Advil I am very encouraged today. I do have to admit that I will not miss the crutches. So I am back in the office full-time this week and will be back to preaching this weekend. I look forward to share about Palm Sunday and the Triumphal entry of Jesus the Lord into Jerusalem to begin the Passion week.

One thing I'm looking forward to is Mike in our church here is a State Trooper. He said I looked like I needed a lift in my life so he is going to take me on a "ride along" tomorrow on his shift. I am really looking forward to observe a guy in a totally different career. To go fast and to pick his brain about life in law enforcement. I asked if I can carry a gun and he said no. :)

Last of all I want to publicly thank all of you that have been praying for my recovery and healing. I am definitely on the mend and God has sustained my spirits through this particular storm of my life. The enemy has been very active at times but Jane and I have learned to pray and fight back in the Spirit. Jane has been a wonderful helpmate through this and we have enjoyed the time we have had to spend together. Gracie has loved having Daddy around so there has been a silver lining in the cloud in this venture.

God bless you all and we appreciate all your love, concern and incredible acts of kindness to us.

Kirk

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Moabitten

I just returned from our 3 day leadership retreat in Moab, UT. We had Cory Sondrol from the Canon City Vineyard come and facilitate us to come together and hash out how to communicate and implement a new vision for Canyon View Vineyard. Let me summarize it in 3 words..."It was awesome!" We felt the Lord's presence throughout our time together and came away with a deepened awareness that God is leading us.

The Lord lead us through times of healing, creating unity, and sending us out with a fresh vision and direction of where he's leading us. We were also able to find out what we're not. This will empower us to go forward with purpose and direction and not be so scattered with too many programs and events that are wearing our people out.

Now the work begins to finalize and refine that vision statement, to get buy-in with the rest of the staff and key volunteers and leaders in the church and our goal is to cast the vision to the church at large in a series of 4 sermons in September, 08'.

I have come away from our time together with a fresh sense of excitement and hope that God is going to do some amazing things through CVVC. This coincides with my leg feeling so much better and the pain level has really decreased to the point that a couple of Advil or Tylenol is all I need. The best thing is...no narcotics!!!

I have also come away from my injury and this retreat with a deeper sense of thankfulness for the new family that God has given us at CVVC. Yes we still miss our family in CC but we feel a deeper appreciation for what He's given us here in GJ. The outpouring of love, concern and service to our family has been unbelievable. I feel humbled and truly thankful for the opportunity to serve Him as the Pastor of CVVC. What an honor. What a daunting task. What a callling. What a joy to serve Him and to have something that is worth dying for!

May God's Kingdom come here on earth as it is in Heaven!!!

Kirk

Saturday, March 1, 2008

the coming light

Many already know that 2 weeks ago I ruptured my Achilles Tendon while snowboarding at the "White Out" youth retreat at Frontier Ranch. While snowboarding at Monarch Ski Area I was boarding down one of my old favorite black runs and fell. While I was sliding down the hill on my stomach the snowboard hit a mogul which caused the toes to stop while the downward momentum on the heals caused the tendon to snap in two. For some odd reason I couldn't put weight on my left leg and I couldn't navigate boarding down. So I took off my board and walked all the way down to the lodge. It was a bummer because it then started to snow profusely and I so wanted to be out boarding on the fresh powder.

So we come home on Monday and I tell Jane that we might want to have a Dr. look at my ankle. (I suspected it was the Achilles Tendon). So we got into Rocky Mtn. Orthopedics and sure enough - a total tear. So in comes this new wizz kid in the area named Dr. Mike Huang. He was trained at the Steadman ortho clinic in Vail where world reknown athletes come for surgery. He recommends surgery with this new instrument and it just so happens that he's the only surgeon in the area that knows how to use it. (I take this as a God thing). So surgery it was on Wed. the 20th of Feb. The surgery went fantastic and the incision is a mere 1-2 inches long. Amazing.

But then the dark period of the soul began. Little did I know that narcotic pain medicines totally wack me out. (by God's grace I have avoided any serious injuries my whole life). For all the activities I have done, that is definitely something to be thankful for. So the first 6 days of recovery I deal with this rash and itch all over from the meds. Then I become totally constipated (I know, too much information). But here's the kicker...I begin to start imagining and hearing things that aren't there. I felt like I was back in the 70's back on LSD. Jane began to freak out. (admittedly I was pretty happy because I felt no pain).

So Jane calls the Dr. and they change the pain meds to Vicodene. Nasty stuff! The first night that I was on vicodene I woke up in the middle of the night and felt like the walls were closing in on me and I couldn't catch my breath. I literally felt like I was slowly suffocating to death. It really felt like a demonic presence was killing me. So I woke up Jane and we began to war in the spirit. I walked around the house in my crutches rebuking the enemy and praying in the spirit. We put a Beth Moore CD on and I listened to her teaching. The anxiety and fear was still prevalent. So Jane got my guitar out and I worshiped for about an hour. Finally around 4:30 am Jane was able to get some rest.

But at 6 am I still couldn't get a full breath. So we called the Dr. and they sent me immediately to the ER to get checked against a Pulminary Embulism. So after a Cat Scan and EKG everything checked out normal. (go figure) So later that day I asked Jane to call Dr. Dan Thompson or family Dr. When he heard the news he said get him off of the Vicodene immediately and prescribed a regimine of plain Advil and Tylenol to manage the pain. After a couple of days the head began to clear and my spirits began to lift. I began to long for relational contact with people and began to sit outside and enjoy the genesis of spring here in GJ. (This is huge considering the long cold winter we have had here).

So in conclusion I look back over the past couple of weeks and can see that I was falling into a pit of darkness and despair of the soul. I was lifeless and despondent. I had no ambition and my thoughts were clouded. But now I am seeing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It reminds me of when Zacharias (the father of John the Baptist) praised God in anticipation of the Messiah's birth, he also looked forward to a spiritual sunrise. Citing Malachi 4:2, he proclaimed: "The Dayspring [sunrise] from on high has visited us; to give light to those who sit in darkness" (Luke 1:78-79).

I am now full of hope that this too shall pass. I am on the road to heal. I am forever empathetic to others that are struggling with physical and emotional ailments. (much more than I was before this episode). I realize that even though the body is not what it was 20 years ago, my spirit continues to grow and look forward to what is to come of God's Kingdom. I am thankful for God's call to be the Pastor of Canyon View Vineyard Church. I am excited for our pastoral and elder retreat this coming week to refine the vision of Canyon View. Yes the Dayspring from on high has visited me and he has come to give light. I feel a renewed sense of hope and vision that the light is going to be shed on those in darkness in the years to come through Canyon View Vineyard. May God be glorified and praised for "all things". You guys rock!

Kirk